Self-Deception

self-de·cep·tion /ˈˌself dəˈsepSHən/ noun the action or practice of allowing oneself to believe that a false or unvalidated feeling, idea, or situation is true. Why would we lie to ourselves? It doesn't make any sense to lie to one's self... We are the only ones inside our heads, in theory, no one else to trick or hide the truth from. We are the only ones that know our deepest, truest thoughts. But yet, do we actually? I believe it has become apart of our nature to self-deceive. Be it a form of self-preservation or the ugliest form of regret, we cannot truly be our selves or reach our unfathomable dreams until we hone in on our self-deceit and eradicate it.

Self-Deceive This painting to me represents the perception I once had of myself. Often times I believed my thoughts, so much to the point of insanity. I saw myself, or deceived myself into believing in things that could be true, but could not be absolutely true: lost, afraid, ugly, fat, evil, unfit to live in society, and to love "the right way". I say it could be true because I do understand the validity of the thought in the first place. But to buy into something with no foundation or backing is a farce. Believing in these thoughts of mine chained me down to pretenses that society has created for many of us to follow. We must be good. We must know where we are going. We must fit in. We must be pretty. We must love a certain way. Quite frankly we MUSTN'T do anything but follow our truest heart. This means not to believe the thoughts that chain us down. But we must reflect and muster up the truth we have buried deep into the depths of our souls. We must find our truth in order to liberate ourselves. More about the painting:

• The gold drips throughout represent my ideas of hopes and dreams, rare but vibrantly standing out.

• The red represents the pain I perceived myself to be experiencing

• The gray and black are what makes up the actual image of the self. It is neither distinct or unclear much like societies ideals and the human perception of those ideals.